Let’s face it: no one likes to think about their death. That is probably the primary reason so many Americans don’t have a will; about 50% of us if the statistics are to be believed. Reasons abound from those who claim once they’re dead, they won’t care what happens to those who have verbally shared their last wishes with a loved one and expect that individual to respect them. That doesn’t always happen.
“Sixty-nine percent of American adults want to arrange their own funerals, but only seventeen percent have put plans in place,” according to a 2023 survey conducted by Funeral & Memorial Information Council.
You may know of individuals who specifically instructed a spouse or loved one about their final wishes, and that spouse chose to ignore those instructions. Personally, written or verbal, I happen to believe we should honor the requests of our loved ones about their final wishes: burial or cremation, service or no service, etc. I think it is the right thing to do. Not everyone agrees with me. This is why, if it is important to you, you should create a will and advanced directives reflecting your wishes about how you want things done.
A very recent example: Just last week, a gentleman of advanced age and under hospice care passed away. His caregiving wife of many years was heartbroken, of course. The gentleman, let’s call him Tom (not his real name), had very clearly told his wife, we’ll call her Mary (again, not her real name), that he wanted his body donated to science. He felt very strongly about this. He had told her this several times over their many years of marriage. But Tom didn’t have a will or make other arrangements for donation of his body or organs. He had never put this in writing or made arrangements in advance. He relied on Mary to honor his wishes. After his death, Mary decided she wouldn’t honor Tom’s wishes. Her reasons were vague at best; she had heard “bad things” about the process, and that often, the deceased’s remains weren’t returned to the family for a long time, sometimes years. She chose to have his body cremated instead.
Who knows what loss to science this decision represents? We’ll never know.
But back to the point of this post, maybe you really don’t care about what happens after you die. But for those who do, explore your options and then put your wishes into writing in a legally acceptable will. And while you’re at it, be clear about asset distribution to spare your beneficiaries from confusion or disputes. Please call me to schedule a meeting to put your “ducks in a row” so your loved ones will know and, ideally, honor your wishes. Call 513-399-7526 or visit my website at www.davidlefton.com.