The holidays are upon us, which means, for many, your loved ones are near; whether you have traveled to visit them, they traveled to see you, or they are right here in town. These are likely the loved ones to whom you plan to will your hard-earned assets when you die. Maybe you’ve already had all the conversations about it, who gets what, what your funeral wishes are, etc. But I know for many, estate planning can be a multi-step process. First, working with an estate planning attorney like myself to create your plan, including all the essential documents such as the will, healthcare directives, power of attorney, a living will, and perhaps a trust. It’s a lot. I get that.
I have found over the years that some clients take all the proper steps when planning ahead. They do it FOR their loved ones. Without a plan, things can be highly complicated for your loved ones – from not knowing details about your financial situation to family arguments over assets and heirlooms. Not to mention having to go through probate. Most don’t want their heirs to go through all of that. So they plan and keep their plans up-to-date to reflect life changes such as divorce or marriage. Once the plan is in place, the next step is to share the details with appropriate individuals to let them know what to expect and address questions they might have.
This step can be awkward and sometimes downright difficult if your loved ones are like some who cannot bring themselves to discuss your mortality. If this is your adult child, for example, perhaps you’ll hear, “Oh, mom, you’re not going to die for years … let’s not talk about that!”. Or maybe it’s a sibling who is close in age to you who cannot consider their demise, and any discussion about yours is just too uncomfortable.
The following are four tips to help you broach the topic with your loved ones, hoping they will be open to the conversation.
<![if !supportLists]>1. <![endif]>Reflect on Legacy: Share thoughts about what you hope to leave behind. Whether it’s your impact on others, your values, or your accomplishments, discussing your legacy can be a meaningful way to approach the subject.
<![if !supportLists]>2. <![endif]>Practical Planning: Discuss your end-of-life preferences in a practical manner. This might include wills, advance directives, or funeral arrangements. By framing it as responsible planning, it becomes an essential part of life rather than a taboo topic.
<![if !supportLists]>3. <![endif]>Philosophical Discussions: Explore philosophical or spiritual perspectives on death. Discussing beliefs about what comes after life or the meaning of life and death can lead to deep, thought-provoking conversations.
<![if !supportLists]>4. <![endif]>Emotional Reflections: Share your emotions and feelings about the idea of death. Expressing fears, hopes, or uncertainties in a safe and supportive environment can be therapeutic and help normalize discussions about mortality.
These conversations don’t have to be awkward. Think about the loved ones you need to talk to – which of the four approaches listed above might work best to bring up the topic? Now that the holidays are upon us and loved ones are near, you might want to find a few quiet moments alone with your loved one(s) to talk about your estate plan. Most of all, I hope you and they remember having your affairs in order when you die is the most caring thing you can do for them. Letting them know what to expect now can help them after you’re gone. As always, if you would like to create an estate plan or update an existing one, I’d be honored to help. Call me at 513-399-7526 or visit my website, www.davidlefton.com, for more information.