Sometimes relationships with loved ones dissolve and sadly transition to animosity or worse. It happens. This isn’t about how to fix that, but some thoughts on your will (you do have one, right?) if you are in this situation. Be it a spouse, a sibling, adult child, or even friend – if you have had it “up to here” with an individual who, right now, stands to inherit if you die, and you don’t want that to happen, what can you do about it?
First, I advise you not to be hasty. If this is a momentary glitch in the relationship and there is hope that it will all be smoothed over, give yourself a cooling-off period. But if the situation has been ongoing for a while and you don’t anticipate any changes, read on for steps you might consider.
WHO CAN YOU CUT OUT OF YOUR WILL?
Generally speaking, you have the freedom to decide who inherits your assets, but there are some legal limits depending on your situation and where you live. Typically, you can leave nothing to:
- Adult children
- Siblings
- Extended family (nieces, nephews, cousins)
- Friends or anyone else
In most states, you aren’t legally required to leave them anything. They might be upset, of course, and try to challenge that decision (a VERY BIG reason to work with an estate planning attorney to ensure your will stands up to those challenges)
WHO CAN’T YOU CUT OUT OF YOUR WILL?
- Your spouse (In most U.S. states, your spouse is protected by something called “elective share” or “spousal share,” meaning even if you leave them nothing, they can legally claim a portion of your estate. If you genuinely want to limit what your spouse receives, there are other tools, including pre-nuptial or post-nuptial agreements and precise planning.
- Your minor children. You can disinherit them in a will, but the court system is very protective of minor children; if you leave them nothing, it may very well trigger legal challenges and lots of scrutiny. Plus, you still have a legal obligation to support them while they are alive.
HOW TO DISINHERIT SOMEONE
If you want to cut someone out, do it carefully and work with an experienced estate planning attorney. Some tips include:
- Be explicit in what you’re doing
Example: “I intentionally make no provision for my son, John Doe.” - Avoid silence
Not mentioning someone can create ambiguity and lawsuits. - Consider creating a “no-contest clause.”
This can discourage challenges (though not foolproof in every state). - Use a trust if needed.
A revocable living trust can give you more control and privacy.
At the end of the day, if you decide to disinherit someone, know that it likely increases the likelihood that the will will be contested. Makes sense if that individual thinks it was a mistake, didn’t see it coming, believes you were under the influence of someone else, etc. Family conflict often erupts in these situations, and when the courts get involved, they will scrutinize the will for anything that seems unusual or unfair. Again, reason enough to work with an estate planning attorney to ensure your wishes are respected.
If you need to update or create your will, let’s get together. Whether you want to exclude or include, each client’s situation is unique, and we can develop a plan tailored to your needs and goals. Call me at 513-399-7526 or visit my website at www.davidlefton.com for more information.