Are you and your spouse, or partner, always in accord about how to spend money, where to go on vacation, or what to fix for dinner? Probably not. You are lucky if you are. As an estate planning attorney, I am sometimes confronted by a spouse or partner of someone who is not in lockstep when it comes to making a will. Those individuals have asked me if I have ideas on how to convince their “better half” to agree to make a will together.
This can be a difficult thing to achieve. But I do have a few thoughts about it, of course, and if you find yourself in this situation, read on for some hints and tips I hope will help you convince your spouse or partner to agree to make a will.
One good way to approach your spouse is to frame it not as paperwork, but as an act of protection and care.
By not agreeing to a will, your spouse is making a decision. And without a will, the state will make your decisions for you about who gets what. Assets may not go where you would want them to. If you have minor children, a judge could decide who raises them if something happens to you both, and it might not be who you would want. And either one of you could end up with less financial security than either of you expects. All good things to point out.
Another angle to try is to emphasize that having a will reduces the stress and potential conflict for surviving family members. Without a will, things can become ugly; asset distribution can be delayed and extra costs incurred. Most don’t want that for their loved ones.
Part 2 of the approach above is to stress that having a will is not about you or your spouse. It is about your loved ones. Position it this way: we’re not planning to die; we’re planning for their security.
A good “close” is to express how much peace of mind you’ll both have once the will is done. Just knowing you have communicated your wishes and that your children and pets will be cared for is hugely reassuring. Truly, that is worth a great deal.
Finally, remind your spouse that this doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out, expensive proposition. A basic will can be drawn up quickly when you’re working with an experienced attorney like me. And, no will needs to be written in stone. You can make changes anytime you want or as life changes dictate. You and your spouse are in charge, always.
I hope some of these points will help you if you find yourself in a position of getting your spouse or partner to agree to make a will. Call me to schedule an appointment, and together we can get it done quickly, giving the two of you tremendous peace of mind. Your loved ones will truly appreciate your effort.
Call me at 513-399-7526 or visit my website at www.davidlefton.com for more information. You can also schedule a meeting with me from there.