If you’re like me, this year has flown by, and now here we are, two months remain in 2025, and the holidays are fast approaching. If 2025 is the year you promised yourself you would get an estate plan done — or maybe update the one you already have —and you haven’t done a thing… There is still time. And while it may fly in the face of what “experts” recommend —that you shouldn’t discuss your estate plan details with loved ones around the holidays —for some of us, we only see those loved ones in person around the holidays. If you need to take action on your estate plan and only see loved ones during the holidays, this post is for you. The following are some thoughts about how to go about it.
It is always recommended that you engage your family members in your estate planning for several reasons. First, it can make the entire process easier, reduce the chances of future conflict, and definitely help ensure everyone understands your intentions. Here are some things to consider:
BE PREPARED BEFORE ENGAGING OTHERS
- Decide what you want to accomplish, including financial security for a spouse, children, or others. If you have a favorite charity, consider how it may affect your plan.
- Talk with an estate planning attorney before engaging family members to ensure you understand all your options (including trusts, wills, etc.) and whatever challenges you may encounter.
- Gather all your information: assets, debts, insurance policies, etc.
CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME, SETTING, AND INDIVIDUALS
- As I said, discussing estate planning during the holidays is not ideal. I know that, but if that is your only time to be in the room with your loved one, then so be it. Given that, let them know in advance that you want to discuss it. Frame it as a conversation that focuses on your long-term plans so they don’t panic, for example, thinking it’s about your health.
- Make sure to tell them it isn’t just about money; you want to share your thoughts on your values and intentions.
- Who you include in this conversation is your business, but I recommend including only immediate family members. Only involve others if they will be directly impacted, such as being your executor.
COMMUNICATE YOUR RATIONALE
- Explain why you’re making certain choices to head off misunderstandings or conflicts later.
- Share your values so they understand why you have chosen a charity, for example.
- Discuss who might serve as executor, trustee, or health care agent and why. Get feedback on their willingness if necessary. Don’t pressure anyone to accept a role they are uncomfortable holding.
- Encourage questions and open discussion. Allow them to express their opinions so you can explain your reasoning.
MAKE IT AN ANNUAL “THING”
- In the future, update family members when changes are being made to the plan so they are all in the loop.
- The more you make this a “routine” event, the more comfortable everyone should be with the topic.
I fully understand that not all families can get together and have discussions like this without a great deal of emotion, anger, fear, and so forth. Clearly, a different approach will be necessary if you anticipate issues. In those cases, you should invite a neutral party to your initial and potential future conversations. You can ask your estate planning attorney to sit in, which will help guide the discussion, reduce tension, and help members understand different legal requirements.
If 2025 was your deadline to update or create your estate plan, give me a call to schedule a meeting. We still have time. We’ll put together a plan customized to your goals, so you will be prepared to have that conversation when your loved ones are visiting. Don’t hesitate to call me at 513-399-7526, or you can schedule our meeting directly on my website at www.davidlefton.com.