Just about everyone knows of at least one family that went into utter turmoil when a loved one died. That turmoil was most likely caused by the deceased either not having a will, having an outdated one, or having a will that contained many unpleasant surprises. Loving family members can become vicious enemies almost overnight over assets, and what I’ve seen over the years is that while the most valuable assets do cause conflicts, the ones that are emotionally valuable can really wreak havoc. So what items do most heirs fight over? Here’s a list of the most often fought over assets.
The Family or Vacation Home. This asset is a double whammy; it may have significant value, but is probably loaded with emotional value. It can get very sticky when one heir still lives there. And let the boxing gloves come out when siblings disagree over whether to sell or keep it.
Jewelry. This includes heirloom pieces, sentimental pieces, a mother’s wedding ring, and more. Issues can arise easily because jewelry is small, portable, and easily “misplaced”. Often, items are informally promised to someone, which can create major issues if not legally documented.
Personal Items with Sentimental Value. Don’t laugh, and it’s not funny, but it does happen … families have broken up over items such as grandma’s recipe box, photo albums, holiday decorations, handmade quilts, a dad’s watch, or tools. Even if these items have little if any monetary value, they hold emotional value.
“Real” Heirlooms. These items hold both monetary AND emotional value. Antiques that have been in the family for generations, grandfather clocks, artwork, and more. Heirs may form strong attachments to certain items, maybe they were even told many years ago, “someday this will be yours,” but in the absence of a will or a will that is out of date, that verbal promise is virtually meaningless. Particularly when multiple heirs lay claim. Without clear direction on asset distribution, heirs may be forced to hire attorneys to fight on their behalf.
Business Interests. While it is never good that a deceased didn’t take the time and effort to have an estate plan (and communicate its contents to relevant heirs), it is surprising that a lack of planning can even extend to family businesses, rental properties, and even farms. So often, assumptions are made, yet nothing is legally documented. Should the adult child who worked in the business get the entire thing, or should siblings share? You can see how this can turn into a lengthy, expensive process to work out.
Miscellaneous. This is actually a huge category of items, ranging from cars, boats, and motorcycles to guns and collections of all kinds. Again, these items represent both emotional and monetary value. While one heir might want to keep the cabin cruiser, the other heirs could try to force the sale of it to get their share of the monetary value. Yes, it can get ugly.
Nothing fuels family conflict like the phrase: “Mom told me I could have that,” or “Dad always said that would be mine.” These disputes and conflicts can, for the most part, be avoided completely with an up-to-date will that includes clear instructions (ideally ones that are not a surprise to anyone) on who gets what. Without that legal document, it can be a free-for-all, but it’s anything but free. Legal fees, hurt feelings, and lifelong estrangements are all the costs to a family unlucky enough to be heirs of someone who didn’t take the time to have their “ducks in a row”. Sad stuff.
You don’t need to worry about your loved ones fighting over your assets. Please call me so we can update or create your estate plan. Let’s make sure your family knows how much you care for them. You can reach me at 513-399-7526 or start by visiting my website: www.davidlefton.com