I know there are those individuals who tend to think estate planning, making a will, and “getting your affairs in order” is all about the “stuff.” The house, the car, the boat, the investments- yes, they are right. But over my many years as an estate planning attorney, I believe it is all about “the people.” Your loved ones, be they parents, spouses, children, siblings, cousins, and to the list, I’d even add the loved ones with four legs. Getting your affairs in order to help them, protect them, and do everything you can to make their lives comfortable after you’re gone; that’s what it’s all about for me. So, let’s discuss selecting a guardian for your minor child(ren). If you haven’t done so, please push it to the top of your to-do list – today. You have no idea what tomorrow holds, and you don’t want to leave this critical step untaken.
An acquaintance recently replied, when I asked if he had appointed a guardian for his 3-year-old daughter yet, “No. If something happens to me, my wife, her mother, will care for her”. I followed up by asking what if he and his wife were to be killed in an auto accident together. He had never considered that possibility and began throwing out various possibilities and retracting them just as quickly. His mom is not physically up to it. His wife’s sister is building her career. Etc. I haven’t asked again, but I hope he has taken this crucial step for his child.
So quickly, here are the top five tips for selecting a guardian for your kids.
1 ABILITY & WILLINGNESS Are they willing and able? By that I mean both physically and mentally able? And if so, is it something they are willing to do? I mean really willing, not just saying yes and hoping they will never be faced with the responsibility. You sure don’t want your children being raised by people who are doing it only from obligation. What an awful situation for your kids.
2 FINANCIAL SITUATION Let’s assume you’ll also have all the financial resources for your child’s care, but consider the guardian’s economic situation. Are they financially stable? Can they maintain a lifestyle in which you would want your child to be raised?
3 VALUES Does your selected guardian have values that align with your own? This includes religious, moral, and ethical beliefs.
4 PARENTING PHILOSOPHY Have a conversation with your selected guardian about how they think children should be raised, nurtured, educated, and disciplined.
5 LOCATION While not a deal-breaker necessarily but, location should definitely be considered. Does your selected guardian live overseas or in a very different kind of area, such as a big city or a very rural one? How would your kid adjust? Would other family members be nearby? What about the school system and community?
Of course, there are other considerations, such as genuine concern for your child’s welfare, an existing relationship with your kids, and even their health habits. And, not to make this more difficult than it already is, once you have chosen a guardian and are satisfied they are the best guardian for your kids, it is a good idea to have a contingency plan—a backup, if you will—who meets all the criteria.
I didn’t say this was easy. Raising a family isn’t easy, but as a parent, your responsibility is to care for your kids while you’re here and do what you can for them after you’re gone. I know you agree. If this has been on your mind for a while, let’s meet and talk about setting up guardianship for your children. It is the most loving thing you can do for them. Call me at 513-399-7526 or visit my website www.davidlefton.com